"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
--Dave Barry

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
--Groucho Marx.

"The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch."
--Michael Friedman

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
--Aldous Huxley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
--Sue Murphy

"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervousand give the wrong answers."
--Unknown

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that that he can hold his own in the conversation."
--Fran Lebowitz

"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job."
--Franklin P. Jones

"Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul --chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
--AnneTyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
--Rita Rudner

"If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one."
--Andy Rooney

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
--Joe Weinstein

"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face,you should go home and examine your conscience."
--Woodrow Wilson